Ready Not Ready
/
in the room of glass
next to the open window
I listen to raindrops
falling from September's oak
and draw maps of summer
on paper airplanes
to keep in the drawer safe
from harvest winds
in the room of glass
next to the open window
I listen to raindrops
falling from September's oak
and draw maps of summer
on paper airplanes
to keep in the drawer safe
from harvest winds
pacing the glass room –
they see me and
I see them
more than light passes, you know?
the barrier existing
still
Heiden's Sonata
over and over lifting
and the beauty
falling
always nearby
Acorns already –
the danger of it
remove the throne
and the two worlds meet
a benefactor to none
shimmering through the veil –
why do you keep hiding?
I fall apart
blue jay squawks
and the doctrine of summer
fleeting
when moons swim in puddles
one could bury the creator
and the created
yet “Am” rises
through the soil
alone
the cicadas prattle
to ignore
is to meet winter
unprepared
it will all spill
if one allows
the allowance
the fall
the amicable yet misguided
turning away from this
end
I watched the swan with a dirty neck
and the tan of eternity
all over my own face
He preens. But for whom?
another July swimming away –
staggered stops before wintertide
A warm place to tread water
Pines watch the moon
drift into them
into me
How slightly the night draws in
blue light torching
thought into hot ash
Which universe careens without the mind?
I float spring-fed on the lake
under bluejay skies, losing feathers in an arc –
an eyelet made for threading
Careful
steady now
It'll only hurt for a bit
This is how I beg for the endgame
A fawn in the may apple patch
noticing a hawk –
the peep of dawn
blackberry bruises
on ninety degree days
so hold still now until it cools
The part of me that sleeps
Nameless grasses and the errant
untethered silken strands
of rainbows reeling
and I watch with Tom Petty sunglasses
in a filtered murkiness
of summer solitude
Can't you hear the deer gently chewing?
Soon it will all be adrift
a frosted glistening in the air
too cold to walk the dog
The white backs of sleeping bears
huddling along the shoreline –
six months of unbroken gray
The imagination winter lacks
With what is left
handfuls of blueberries and freckled kisses
and the way ladybugs gather on screens
And light
that won't leave
until after ten
Maybe a few more strokes across the bay
Of winter's exit wounds. Of swollen buds and their secret rooms. Of the night's invitation to shoulders and chilly hands. Awake. Allow. Of dew-wet licks on morning feet. Of ground softening. Of standing wither-deep in the impatience of creeks. Of box turtles. The bees' uneven cursive. Of pine sap tattooed on forearms and of heavy-headed peonies dodging the shadow play of oaken sentries. Of sheltered skin, freckling, coming on like the leaves of October. Of love's cheating with careful abandon. A kissed photo. What cannot be found until the first firefly. The delivery of summer's woodsmoke. Of skinny dipping as the moon floats nearby. Of perennial ghasso. Blue racers in lake-flicked grass. Allow. Unscripted trees and shores and dunes. Of distance. Of cedar cabins and waxwings. On water. In woods. Allow. My hummingbird heartbeats chest to chest. Of summiting. Of hunger and sweat. Of lavish blue, calling. Of August sand turning cold at night. Silos filling with shorter days and scalped crops. Of maples on fire. Thistles signaling death and migration. Green to gold to grey. And frosted tombs. Of hunters. Allow. December's iced focus on oblivion. Of spindrift. Of snow shovels and effort. Of sleeping under all the blankets for once. Days and days and days of outstretched granite. Of irrepressible darkness. Of tracks in the snow erased already. Pining east. Praying for light. Straining to remember the heat of being near. Of meeting eyes. Of anticipation. Of allowing the rise and fall of all that must.
Alone to write or maybe to make a space
for the things that are not allowed.
He says he'll be right up but I'm selfish
and fine.
There is more than combustion involved.
That is the only promise I can make and mean it.
The night breaks down into barking dog
chaos with the sky on fire and deep cannon
blasts raining over clapping crowds in awe
of what they do not know.
Please tell me you have fireflies
in July and woodsmoke in October
and evergreens
in February. Please tell me the color
of the blanket on the floor and the temperature
of the river that carries your glance
and the sound your steps make on the old wooden bridge.
Please
find a way to say what was never meant to be
said. Betokened.
She asks me to go to Connecticut in August and I would.
But what if I love it. What if I stay.
The sea.
And what if I visit Amherst and walk around with coffee
under the summer's late sun visiting
graves and other points of interest?
The poem is not the poem and
the visit is not secure. Yet the words birth the sentences
as the placenta ruptures on the heirloom table
my parents used to have in their dining room
at Gun Lake.
Thinking is not thinking
and I'm done
thinking.
Summer I need
you
and your confetti of petals and wings and light.
Shudder me
with your percussive storm clouds
and misty rainbow apologies seeping into the scars
of December. My skin rises to meet your mango
tongue and marigold residue
and the impossible starburst of clementine
dawn.
Summer I need
the leeward side of Lake Michigan
sending an army of infantry grains
from your dunes
into barefooted places.
Summer I need
farm fields of fireflies disco
dancing and turtles breaching glassy stills
and campfires pushing the night
back just far enough to say
what if.
Summer I need
to follow your birds home
because when they leave I am left
here borrowing time
treading water until the ice comes
and all there is clings to the last flashes
of feathered rouge picking leftover
seed from frozen footprints on the ground.
Summer I need
to stop saying goodbye
and sending blessings on your way
because I don't mean it.
Summer I need
you to stay.
waking
under the gray water
of dawn
on my back
staring at the beams
of certain words
the memorized temple
formed face-to-face
on our knees
and my god
in that gaze
we are
unanimously
the well-shaped
apple tree
First fireflies
which mean nothing
except that June progresses in a way
making sense to those who tarry.
The fall of empires –
I am not as reckless as I may seem.
More anchors than lost vessels. Yet
sometimes one needs a beer
to wish a father Happy Father's Day. I'm not waiting
anymore for what is not mine.
A silver lining rounding ginger sunsets
dissected into unrealistic hues.
He wants
me with him tonight but I turn
towards the dark
towards the empty side the bed
towards a piss poor imitation of free will
under enlightenment's regime. Sandra Gilbert
makes bread and leaves it on my table.
Leave me on the table. Me, hewn from oak trees
and sky and water returning.
In the distance chainsaws
sound like children crying. Takers with the power
to give. The power to change.
The power to give the power
to those who want to eat more
than their share.
Light, let there be you.
You, let there be me.
Me, let it pass.
a nickel mist
parting
for the symbol offered
by ghosts –
an arrow twisted
in a Celtic knot
bobbing on the sea
water split
at my breast
and the cool glide
of time
feathers my cheek
Around
Toward
Away
my ankles in his eddies
my syllables on your shore
Barreling out of Detroit, two hawks
higher. All the bloated deer
with spindling legs and broken necks
lower. The funeral was an intimate affair.
An outsider's glance is worth what exactly?
I drove the car hard – 80 mph
when the music was right.
And the music is always right.
Play it. Drive it. Taste it.
Softer sweetness in cotton
candy disintegration – I make it home in time
to make time
for the one who spends time
staking pathways
in sand grains funneled
in the head-over-heels
hourglass.
Ah tick-tock / ya don't stop / to the / tick-tock / ya don't stop
As a woman who is figuring it out that she has always had it figured out, she seems to suggest that her nakedness is part of seeing this though. And dearest timekeeper, she promises not to eat you until the end.
I didn't expect – a half inch moon
making up the difference.
Yet before all of that we (and by “we” I mean I)
watched the sun set
through the ears of a three-legged rabbit.
In a way
the first time the fuzz
of his inner ear turned mango
is the first time we made
love.
We've told that story before.
You ask for it every night when I go
to bed facing east, when I fall
asleep on the right side
of the bed, when we sew the verge
between what-if and was
and now. The Night Sky
petunias tremble
in the backwash of the hungry three-legged rabbit.
In a way
you held me. This way.
after a few beers
that taste of a dark forest
and the words you wrote
about dashboards and eagles and scrubby pines
I pray to that lumbering bear
who sleeps in the sky
and ask permission
to stay
daffodil hints
too soon
and
pine lashes
lowered to see
my immoderate fall
what unknowing is bared
in the cold
and love
when winter weight
lays down on me full length
and bird souls hang in the air
one may easily
mistake a tune
for salvation –
have you heard
the red-winged trill
too soon?
how my affection
is of no use
to the blackbird
how the fields will dream
in the sunshine
and deer curl
in grassy hamlets
when raindrops
shake the tulips
too soon . . .
no longer a distance
measured
or days counted
from autumn to spring
and no accurate arrow
pierces the heart
in hibernation
too soon
when today
is the only day
there is
when you can do nothing but see
the un-walkable path, light glinting
unblemished by feet, but still
the way
winter
carves despair on one hand
redemption on the other, so hidden
for a time such as this
so stripped
we can't speak of it anymore
unlike the chickadees
or the cardinal couple
in the dying dogwood
off the west corner
of the house
and yet
this lovely curfew
remaining by
the sea
autumn
changing her favorite color
to red
a Golden Eagle
cutting the corpse-colored
sky
a resurrection
in his clawed landing
whereby
everything
is
everything
I stagger
on the stepping stones
of sense –
how the river freezes around
the immovable
truth
the train's legato notes / leaving indigo's dawn / asleep in bed
the last first kiss
will be like cardinal prints
on 5 a.m. snow –
a lacy surprise melting
into dawn
folding paper blinds –
apologies met with light
yet I turn aside
for winter