She Had to Say Yes

On metal plant hangers nailed into trees, squirrels perch under the s-shaped hat of their tails. Snow has been falling hard since yesterday, matching ground to sky in whiteness. My god, where would I exist without trees? Evergreens reach emerald arms for embrace. I will fall into it every...single...time. Tell me this isn't as far as we go.

I remember watching Dracula on TV as a child and recognizing that I had recognized my first villain. It was the first time I felt the burn of desire, watching him needing to feed to live and eventually doing so in a sensual way. He couldn't help himself, yet his victim had to give her consent for the union to occur. Knowing the outcomes and risks, she said yes. She had to say yes. At this young age, I knew her. The villain was me.

Potato bacon soup simmers on the stove for the sick ones. Couldn't soup be enough to celebrate Christmas? Everything slows down with the storm and Covid and the exhaustion that comes from constantly swimming life's river.

seed packets
on an expectant stack
of books –
these minor saints
reminiscing again

Silos begin to empty a little while deer and turkeys cover sleeping fields. I sit and wait on dawn alone with my coffee and drowsy ghosts. Welcome I say. I have nothing left to hide.